Meeting people as they are
And what I remind myself when engaging with anyone
Meeting people, of all sorts, has been a fortunate experience I’ve had lately. It’s been really fun even just to be able to hold conversations with these people. These are people living their big lives and still dream of things I may not be able to envision yet. In these opportunities I get, they have shared with me ideas and lessons that I would have trouble reading through countless books for. I am forever grateful for their advice and stories.
The org I worked for exists to help startup founders. We have a program that provides them the right person for the right matter — mentors. I meet people, for a living. Yes, that is the job. Getting the job back then, I had no idea it involved a lot of communicating and aligning with people. This is something I am bewildered at when looking back to how I was in the past — a reserved, socially awkward bum. It is definitely a major leap outside my comfort zone because just plain talking wears me out lol.
I am liking how this seemingly simple yet profound, low-key yet high-touch responsibility of little chats becomes the seed of community-driven innovation. The little chats with people turn into meetings. Meetings with the team become the idea to develop workshops and training sessions. These sessions where we share information and connect with change agents make up the program. Then, it essentially kicks off the founders’ journey into becoming the next big thing.
Just being around these people opens my world to diverse opportunities and makes me a little bit savvier every time. Listening to them talk passionately about their capabilities with all the details they have so well-thought-out and put into practice has all been rewarding for me.
To give a picture, here are the people who inspired me lately.
- a clinical psychologist with an MBA
- an improviser, trainer and technologist
- a hardcore tech guru
- an engineer turned finance strategist
- a curious design researcher
- a culture and market lead
- a community growth lead
- a deals & finance manager
- a branding and marketing strategist
- a stoic, human experience designer
- a president to 4 major organizations
- a CEO with finance and economics background
- a business technology coach and serial entrepreneur
- an investor and venture builder
- a neuro-artist and product designer
- an innovation manager and engineer
- a VC and startup guru
- around 100+ other founders and a hive of hardworking bees.
At every interaction, I come in looking to learn about what they do, ask for what I need, and try to explain the value for both sides. They all have their own quirks and personalities — some easy, some trying. Getting the hang of their different personalities, cultural backgrounds, and varying concerns has drilled me on practicing acceptance. Holding the conversation that it is. Taking people as they are. Experiencing the moment here and now. Meeting reality as it unfolds.
From this amazing learning experience, here are 5 things that I continue to remind myself of when engaging with people.
Genuinely appreciate what they bring in. Allow yourself to be inspired.
People’s quirks and stories are the best sources for inspiration. You just never know what you’re gonna get — this could share their own frameworks, fine points for improvement, or general life approaches. Everything that has happened so far has all been because of the feedback and guidance I got from everyone. This article, for example, is from several conversations with my friends. Listen and observe. Apply what you like, scrap what you don’t, and express all these ideas in your own grateful way.
Wish them well. Do good for them.
You receive what you put out. Generally, wishing people well has always lead to laughs and smiles at the end. The good transcends and it almost always pays back. This is how you get big stuff done — through a ripple of good deeds.
Tell them just what they need to know.
This I find tricky, still. In conversations, it is important to understand the person — where he’s coming from, what he currently knows and what you want out of him. When you tell people any more or less than they ought to know, they figure they’re wasting time with you. See it as your role to strike the balance between telling them what they need to know and letting them have their own experience as well. Brief them just the right amount. Be honest, concise, and clear. Most importantly, make sense.
Let them be. They are doing their best with what they realize yet.
They do their best at their level of awareness. This also means they don’t know what they don’t know. When they do things differently, they’re not really going against what you said or trying to shit on your ideas. Thinking these bad thoughts has never really helped anyone. People are innately good — reminding myself this has kept me collected during mishaps. When things don’t go as it should be, trust that the people will follow through. Watch as they take steps towards a more beautiful outcome.
Just be you. Accept yourself too.
Expectation is a difficult thing to manage. It’s how much value we perceive in things, people, and ourselves. Usually, we put highly unattainable and misaligned expectations on ourselves. Don’t beat yourself up and take easy. Align expectations with the self — thinking that you are also your best at the moment is among the most freeing feeling ever. Just be you. People do enjoy that too.
People are everything. They make it all happen. Accept them for who they are and appreciate what they bring in.
